I apologize for the ruckus that took place at the front, middle, and back of the Meijer store today. I took my tired children shopping today after Vacation Bible School. It is a big mistake, and I have learned my lesson. It will not happen again. To the man in the store that my son hit on the rear-end, I sincerely apologize. I hope you see the humor in that awkward situation when you eat dinner with your wife and family tonight.
Sincerely (and humiliated),