Thursday, October 1, 2009

Today's Agenda

Dear Mom,
I know we have all been a little under the weather lately, which means you haven't been on top of your game. Lack of sleep and a hacking cough has translated into a tired person flopping around the house. So as a courtesy, and because I love you so, I am going to warn you about some events that are going to transpire today. For the most part Isaac and I are going to get along. But about 10:00 AM we are going to fight over a book. Your solution to ending the book dispute is going to be to take the book out of my hand and "gently" toss it across the room. I would like to advise you to creatively think of another plan. This is going to hack me off and I am going to take a backpack, that I have been carrying around all day, and swing it at you and Isaac. Though it looks light and like it is filled with stuffed animals and blankets, it is not. I have filled it with all of my hot wheels cars. These care are light as singles - but a bag of fifty can pack a punch. This bag of cars is going to miss Isaac and hit you in the mouth. Your tooth is going to put a hole in your lip and there is going to be a lot of blood. I just thought you should know.
Despite being angry - you are going to handle your self rather well. You are going to send both of us to our room for what will seem like an eternity, while you clean up your lip, and ponder a punishment. I will at this time applaud you for your creativity in making our punishment three-fold: time-out, spanking, and loss of TV priviledges. As a bit of forewarning, loss of TV priviledges is going to be more of a punishment to you than us.
Sorry I got to this letter a bit late in the day - I was so busy. I am sure you understand. I hope your lip feels better. It is a pretty blue - that is my favorite color.
Love you,
Eli

2 comments:

Curtis and Tricia said...

I have no words . . . I am laughing way too hard!

Kelly said...

I think we need a picture of that blue lip! :)