Sunday, September 21, 2008

Our Kidless Counterparts

Last night we attended a joint birthday party for two of John's co-workers. Bravely they invited our kids over as well. Have you ever seen the SNL skit when Dan Akryod is trying to sell various children's toys such as bag o' glass and Johnny switchblade because he feels like a Nerf ball is a choking hazard. Sometimes that is what going to a childless perons's house is like. While the gesture is incredible, that a person would allow two people under three feet tall to completely ransack their tidy house. However, for a parent this evening out is most exhausting. Below are the top ten reasons childless/single folks should not let children come to their homes.

10. 80 pound dogs that aren't used to kids & kids that are not used to 80 pound dogs.
9. The line between dog toys and kid toys is very blurry.
8. Low level TV's without the power button protector. You will miss every good play.
7. 75 2x3 pictures don't look like a precious display of the family, but instead they look like blocks that make a nifty people pyramids. They are most tempting.
6. Coke Cans - they will get shaken and dropped no less than 10 times, each.
5. Outside seems safer, except dog poop looks a little like playdoh (at least the kind of church that is a mixture every color squished together).
4. Corn Hole is not for playing - it is a stage for singing and jumping.
3. Glass hutches full of knicknacks. They can tip over, my kid will prove that to you.
2. Fire place pokers and brooms have far more than the advertised uses.
1. White carpet.

We had a good time. Eli had his first Mello Yellow. Isaac I am sure touched dog poop at least three times. Eli's church pants look like he rolled around in the grass for 2 hours (which he did). And - we were exhausted.

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